| Henry VIII on Ecstasy (LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE IN OUTER SPACE Episode 2) |
[Dec. 30th, 2008|07:57 pm] |
Today on LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE IN OUTER SPACE, Tom Lehrer guest stars as Henry the Eighth. As the new girl in town, Captain Laura is targeted to be his seventh wife, the first six having mysteriously perished. Tom reprises the "Silent E" song that he wrote for the Electric Company.
what can turn a nil into a nile
and turn mil into a mile
and do it all with style
and never appear vile
the grandiosity of silent e
tie-dye with rit
wear it to a rite
do zazen sit
post it on your site (that's right!)
all cybernetically with silent e
it's not that far
so compare your fare
go by car
or maybe by air (if you dare)
if you care how
you travel to there
there's informa
tion that you can share
take my dare and do your hair with silent e
some guys are fat
it may be their fate
try lifting weights, work out your lats -and don't be late
could a guy like dat (Henry VIII)
ever get a date?
sometimes even a mat, can have a mate!
they met at a bar
and soon they were bare
by a a horse-shaped crater
called the mar of mare
and then she escaped
to her prairie lair
more adventures were awaiting way out there
i kitty kat, plz to call me "kate"
hijacked this song, you'll just have to wait.
i'm in your parody
explorin' don't ya see
seekret felinity of silent e
lets have a spat, or maybe a spate
of cheeze burgers
and go roller skate
so many choices what goes on your plate
the cat in the hat's hat, like it or hate? (take my survey!)
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| Little House on the Prairie IN OUTER SPACE |
[Nov. 11th, 2008|10:05 pm] |
The series continues. (Sing this to the tune of the Little House on the Prairie TV Show.)
When the great plains aren't vast enough And Walnut Grove town is stifling It's time for a change So lets re-arrange our molecules And teach galactic school "The Prairie" 's the name of our rocket ship Left western horizons for beyond If energy ports Should morph out of sorts there's hydrogen In Plum Creek and Blackberry Pond Laura's a whiz at the tiller Mary's clairvoyant carefree Our computer "Pip" Is Paw (in a chip) and Jack-kuri Is our Robo-puppy Off to new worlds and more planets Big, small and some frothy foam Why we pioneer? The answer clear that soon we'll find A place for our new home
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| Plumber Joe, Surfer Joe, Peggy Sue |
[Oct. 16th, 2008|06:49 pm] |
I haven't seen Mark Russell on a television set near me lately, but he used to show up several times a year on public channels with his red, white, and blue draped piano and political satire set to Broadway tunes. The last time that the stock market suffered a "correction," he explained that two days earlier had been "Black Monday, followed by Gray Tuesday, and today is Beige Wednesday."
Wikipedia informs me that Marky-baby is still above the sod. I never saw him use any rock and roll songs, but he's my inspiration for this little ditty.
Do you know plumber Joe
Keeps your float valve on the go
That plumber, plumber Joe-ho ho
Oh when you gotta go you you need a plumber in the know
Kitchen sink, to pour a drink
Like to hear those glasses clink
I neeed a workin' kitchen sin-hi-hink
Can't pour a drink without a workin' kitchen sink
Water flow, money dough
Cheddar to top your nacho
He's keepin' your taxes lo-ho-ho
Because a liquid lucre has got to have that flow!
(Chuck Berry style guitar solo)
Quarter mill, such a thrill
Or just a think tank well-paid shill
This message is getting shri-hill-hill
We can fix this mess if you just let me DRILL BABY DRILL
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| Raw-k Roll! |
[Apr. 28th, 2008|02:44 pm] |
(Sing this to the tune of "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley)
We're familiar with food that's cooked
You used to eat it and so did I
Just a taste is what I have in mind
You won't know if you like raw, until you try
Just a word about how great I've been feeling
Since I entered live foods land-
Never gonna steam it up
Never gonna boil it down
Never gonna roast a crown and skirt you
Never gonna gonna grill walleye
Never gonna braise Birds Eye
Never gonna toast on rye, and serve it to you
I've not been at this for very long
I know it all looks strange if you've not tried it
That's the message of this song
We could have pineapple, or raw banana split
And if you ask me why I do this
The results are easy to see-
Never gonna steam it up
Never gonna boil it down
Never gonna roast a crown and skirt you
Never gonna make you fry
Never gonna bake a pie
Never gonna carmine dye, and squirt you
Never gonna steam it up
Never gonna boil it down
Never gonna roast a crown and skirt you
Never gonna gonna grill walleye
Never gonna braise Birds Eye
Never gonna toast on rye, and serve it to you
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| Ode to a Haircut |
[Apr. 5th, 2008|09:07 am] |
(Sing this to the tune of "Somewhere Out There"
Photos are at http://pr1ss.blogspot.com/2008/04/ode-to-haircut.html)
Somewhere nearby I hear the buzzing sound
A song of barbershop clippers hummed in four part round
Even closer my favorite seventeen-year old
Soon to undergo shortening of his glorious locks of gold
And though no razor`s touched his hair since last June or July
I`d like to think underneath that mane is still the same sweet guy
To the strip mall a mere mile away
First thing on the agenda of a balmy spring break day
As the strands fall it soon reveals a trace
Of what is becoming a grown-up chiseled face
Floor-length tresses no longer decorate my mature tyke
But by summer they may evolve into a surfer spike
This has been a successful haircut event
I for one am glad that both of us went
And the clippers continue buzzing along
Will your own teenager soon attend a concert of their song?
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| The Egress boogie |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|12:01 am] |
As to my Passover song of the previous post. (http://pr1ss.livejournal.com/150144.html) I have a feeling that there will be more verses and some choruses, maybe many more.The bird watching reference has me particularly intrigued.
What if The Children of Jacob, and the Israelites, (whom I am not convinced were at that time precisely synonymous,) used the ploy of ornithological passion as a cover for their planned emigration? I can see them getting together ostensibly to discuss avian migration patterns and habitat, and to assemble gear for the upcoming observation expedition. Everyone, down to the the tiniest toddler, would be outfitted with hiking boots and canteens. They would monitor the phases of the moon and wait for weather conditions most conducive to egress activity.
On the street in passing, an Egress Society member would make a `quack-quack` gesture with one hand. Upon recognizing it, a fellow member would make the `quack` sign in return. In this way, Bird Watchers could safely become known to each other.
And now for a few more stanzas of the Egress Boogie
oh children of jacob,
we`re going to the dessert
soon the departure
the quest to be a nation
oh people of israel
we`re getting out of egypt
the prospect is daunting
but we`ll soon be on our way
now`s the time to go to the border
find a spring of mineral water
tell the story in the right order
it`s sahara time
passover, this is the time to remember
holiday, let`s have a good time
passover, this is the time to remember
holiday, let`s have a good time |
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| LOLCATS ARE EVERYWHERE |
[Jul. 21st, 2007|10:44 pm] |
(Sing this to the tune of Love is In The Air. The unitalicized parts are spoken.)
IM ON UR BALCONY
PEEKIN' THROUGH UR WINDOWPANE
UNDERNEATH UR LINDEN TREE
WITH A SONGBIRD I HAVE SLAIN
and if you think that something is hidden
that you've got it safely tucked away
i assure you it won't stay forbidden
because seek and destroy's how we play!
IM CRUISIN' UR PANTRY
LOOKIN' FOR MY FAVORITE SNACKS
I TAKE DOWN NOTES FROM UR CORK BOARD
LINE UR COMPUTER CHAIR WITH TACKS
lolcats are always on missions
on a stealth undercover foray
we dont lolly-gag making decisions
we're the cats that have something to say
lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo
lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo
Waiter, there's LOLCAT in my soup!
It`s catching Albondigas!
Waiter, now the cat is in my salad, what's it doing there?
Stalking animal cracker croutons!
IM IN UR DRESSER DRAWER
TRYIN' ON UR UNDERWEAR
I BRING FIELD MICE TO UR DOOR
'CAUSE I ALWAYS LIKE TO SHARE
the pond in ur yard is inviting
it's more fun than a big ball of twine
got my eyes peeled for the next frog sighting
all ur base koi are gonna be mine
lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo
lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo
Why did the lolcat cross the road?
To look for a cheeseburger!
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