| Donny Joel Prissment |
[Nov. 29th, 2008|02:04 pm] |
Choose a letter "A" through "D"
If you like, choose two, or three
Comment back so all can see
Your choice of etymology
The word "Don" or "don"
A. Should be used only as a proper name, or as a nickname for "Donald".
B. Works well as a latinate title for the godfather, and for that Don Quixote guy who tilts at windmills, and doubles gracefully as part of the name of Mr Rogers' donkey puppet who was named after the windmill aficionado..
C. Is a grudgingly tolerated archaism in a song about "gay apparel" but should never see the night of day, nor the candlelight of night otherwise.
D. Is your favorite word and you screech it repeatedly every morning as you costume yourself for public appearances:
I'm donning my socks!
I'm donning my shoes!
I'm donning my false eyelashes!
And so on, until your desired raiment has been fully applied.
And you also helpfully remind your family and friends:
Honey, don your jacket. It's cold out there!
And you are writing a screenplay called "The Donners of Donlington" which is about customers of the haute couture fashion industry as they stand in line for for fashion shows, and go back to the studio for second and third fittings, and most of all, scramble to rake in the dinero, (or in this case the "donero") to afford such cheddar-slicing-edge attire. There's a climax as various characters get dressed for the ball. (What am I saying? I mean: as they DON their new DUDS.) And an epilogue over the credits as they sally forth in cars and carriages, then alight upon red carpets and dance the night away. If it sells, you are hoping to have Robin Leach, or Ross the Intern as narrator.
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| Vote Like a Pirate |
[Oct. 23rd, 2008|11:26 am] |
Aye, the tide is turning me fine lasses and laddies. Election day draws nigh and soon we'll be having a hack and slash sword fight with the scurvy varlets of that bilious Brigantine known as the S.S. Diebold as they divide up the resultin' booty. A call rings out across deck-plank and dock, 'All ashore that's goin' ashore!" Unabashed Republicans the likes o' Colin Powell and Representative Jim Leach have let it be known to one and all that a McCain presidency is a calamity up with which they will not be puttin'. Television talking heads such as Katie Couric and David Letterman find it impossible to interview an R candidate without lapsin' into eyerollin' and into lip curlin' sneers. Chris Matthews expressed his disgust that McPain has no idea what the constitution is tellin' us about what a vice president does, and R speechwriter David Frum says that while he may still vote for his lily-livered passel of lamers, he washes his hands of the ham-handed hodgepodge they've been after foistin' upon the American people.
These hard-core henchmen of the establishment are like rats leavin' a sinkin' ship. Conversly, they are like new-signed landlubbers anxious to get their sea-legs under 'em as the ship of State casts off for new waters. Middle of the roaders hate to be left stradling a gangplank as it folds up for four years of hold storage.
So pack yer hardtack and put on yer Sou'Wester. It's time to fish or cut bait. |
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| Andbing Owashisnamo |
[Oct. 21st, 2008|09:03 pm] |
I posted a Twitter about making beet juice. Beets can stain your skin or your clothes resulting in a MARK OF THE BEETS. This sounds like a name. It follows the same form as Robin of Locksley, Will O'theWisp, and Bugs Bunny's friend: Cirrhosis of the Liver. let us look into into the Prisstopolis phone book to see what similar names lie on the "O" page:
First, there are names employing an apostrophe
Tortoise O'Hare
Cree O'LadyMarmelade
Port O'potty
Jell O'Puddingpop
Son O'Vagunwe'llbehavin'somefunonthebayou (A fine film. It was a sequel to the documentary treatment of his father.)
Then, some names that do indeed start with "O"
Ro-de O
Desert Oasis
Atlantic Ocean
Pacific Ocean
Cinccinatti Ohio
Holly Oleeoxenfree
Aut Omation
Jackie Onassis
Show Opening
RedroverredroversendPrisstopolisright Over
Fatal Overdose
And finally, some people are listed who have first names that begin with "O" and really belong on other pages.
E., O'Mall
Swamp, Okefenokee
Isme, Ohwoe
Dale, Over
Hill, Over
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| Raw-k Roll! |
[Apr. 28th, 2008|02:44 pm] |
(Sing this to the tune of "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley)
We're familiar with food that's cooked
You used to eat it and so did I
Just a taste is what I have in mind
You won't know if you like raw, until you try
Just a word about how great I've been feeling
Since I entered live foods land-
Never gonna steam it up
Never gonna boil it down
Never gonna roast a crown and skirt you
Never gonna gonna grill walleye
Never gonna braise Birds Eye
Never gonna toast on rye, and serve it to you
I've not been at this for very long
I know it all looks strange if you've not tried it
That's the message of this song
We could have pineapple, or raw banana split
And if you ask me why I do this
The results are easy to see-
Never gonna steam it up
Never gonna boil it down
Never gonna roast a crown and skirt you
Never gonna make you fry
Never gonna bake a pie
Never gonna carmine dye, and squirt you
Never gonna steam it up
Never gonna boil it down
Never gonna roast a crown and skirt you
Never gonna gonna grill walleye
Never gonna braise Birds Eye
Never gonna toast on rye, and serve it to you
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| Nightly Noobs |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|09:00 pm] |
Stay tuned for the Nightly Noobs with your anchors: May Zhorboubs and Fabula Snockers
Our meteorologist Ray Kneeskiez has the weather forecast
Tay Thurble will fill you in on the sports scores
Health reporter Rick Olah with a word on Spring allergies
The farm report is by Till Theland
Restuarant trends from Sue Shi
Political reports from Cam Payntrail and Em Tipromise
Special reports tonight from:
Global warming alarmist Harry Binger
Economist Law Fercurf
And art critic Jess O.
As always
Movie reviews from Moe Shun and Music scene by Lei Dievfspaine
Stay tuned! |
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| Prissneology |
[Oct. 9th, 2007|09:59 pm] |
Today is the official unveiling of a new word. On consultation, the google did find a few incidences of it in use. Apparently while not existing in dictionaries, and although it had yet to be formally defined, a few creative or confused souls have been uninhibited enough to freely toss it into letters and presumably into their everyday speech.
Without further ado I bring you:
Cohegent [CO-HEE-gent]
This word combines the successful driving together of reasons, and rationales, and arguments, into a solid conclusion of the word ”cogent”
with the stickyness and agglutination into a whole, of the word ”cohesive”.
Perhaps you would like to use this word on your children, or your parents, or your supervisors, or your underlings, or your minyans of homies. Simply nod contemplatively when they stop talking and open their mouths to take a breath, and say:
You've made a cohegent point (or case, or argument.)
A well thought out plan can also be characterized as cohegent.
Cohegent: The word for today! |
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| Wild Saffron |
[Mar. 15th, 2007|02:12 pm] |
(Sing this to the tune of: It's Amore)
Elton's electrical boots
Match his scratchy hair suit
It's a mo-array |
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| Filk Mania Continues |
[Mar. 12th, 2007|06:22 am] |
(Sing this to the tune of: That's Amore)
When you're a Brontė
And Heathcliff's far away
That's a Moor. Eh?
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| Variations on a Squeam |
[Mar. 12th, 2007|06:14 am] |
(Sing this to the tune of: That's Amore)
When the sun's in the skies
And it just starts to rise
That's a morn. Eh?
Make a white sauce with cheese
Pour it over green peas
That's a mornay
Do controlled study
Sole survivor's B
Data's a mourn A
Should a Parliament need
More "Aye" votes to proceed
That's a more "Nay" |
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| Stop me before I filk again! More Amore |
[Mar. 11th, 2007|04:33 pm] |
Here's another recycled one:
When you toast marshmallows,
Place on Grahams, add chocos
That's a 'smore
AND A TOTALLY ORIG NEVER SEEN BEFORE ANYWHERE:
Prayer to a bird profane
Hebrew words used in vain
That's a Sh'ma Ra |
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| Filk! |
[Mar. 11th, 2007|02:18 pm] |
What can I say about "The Callahan Touch?" Put simply, this book is crap. In the course of moving some books off of shelves and into boxes, (more on that sitch will be shared if all goes well,) I came upon one of those Spider Robinson books that he cranked out between real novels to pick up cash, and to see the names of all of his friends set into type. Crap it is, but fun crap. A pause to race through it uncovered a section of parody lyrics to "That's Amore." The lawnmower verse was missing, it must be in another of the Crosstime Chronicles. My best recollection of it goes:
Runs on gas, Goes putt-putt
And your grass, it can cut
That's a mower eh?
And It's possible that I might have seen these before:
Milwauk' goil, newsroom toil
Mister Grant is her foil
That's a Mary
Man from Ork I think he
tried to grope Mindy's knee
Said she, "Mork 'kay"
Drawfs or dads, Springer cads
And the wives of thse lads
Also go on Maury
Dorothy's aunt dug for gold
Struck it rich, so I'm told
That's Em ore
There are many more, and I've decided to add some original (as far as I know) contributions to this Amaretto libretto.
Zee French bride eez lovely
and her husb, what of lui?
That's a mari
Dress of blue, 72
Martyr dudes, she well knew
That's um, a houri |
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| Dancing in the trees |
[Dec. 12th, 2006|09:09 pm] |
It’s reforrestation for your airport vacation
A chance to see a tree
They’ll be red lights blinking
And glasses clinking
And smatterrings of greenery
It doesn’t matter where you were born
Or where you are headed today
Just walk your feet in a vector
Through our metal detector
A tannenbaum will send you on your way
Everyone will be dancing, to celebrate the trees
It’s a fascination with conifloration
And a natural antifreeze
A medication for your irritation
As we check you through security
It doesn’t matter where you were born
Or where you are headed today
There’s a pine scent in the air
As we x-ray your hair
And a tannenbaum to see you on your way
All over the runway
Next to the coffee pot
Can’t forget the people mover
And the parking lot
Everyone will be dancing, to celebrate the trees
Everyone will be dancing, to celebrate the trees |
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| Driving while ursine |
[May. 21st, 2006|04:42 pm] |
The speciesist Seattle police attempted to arrest a bear this morning. They tasered it for resisting arrest and before they could haul it away to jail, it died at the scene. The Bear and Human Alliance and Bears and Humans against Tasering (BHA and BHT) will be holding a protest vigil tonight at Greenlake. Bring a candle and some kind of noisemaker. |
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| House (Theme Song) |
[May. 7th, 2006|03:36 pm] |
You need a medical detective
When it feels like there's something wrong
If you're a fan of biting invective
He'll diagnose it before long
When you pet your Pekingese
Watch out for Bubonic fleas
You feel an itch at your knees
And vainly scratch
But they attach!
You cuddle with your main squeeze
Not thinking of STDs
But research with green monkeys
Led to a bite
And a parasite
That rash shaped like fleurs des lys
Might indicate leproses
Or maybe just allergies
It's hard to tell
But you're starting to swell
And nine-day-old porridge pease
Are fluent in Botulese
Which leads to paralyses
You can't take off
Can't even cough
Bacterial colonies
Or scary malignancies
An excess of manganese?
What e'er the spoor
He'll find the cure
You need a medical detective
When it feels like there's something wrong
If you're a fan of biting invective
He'll find the problem before long |
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| The Little House on the Prairie Theme Song |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|07:56 pm] |
At first I didn’t care for the Little House series
It seemed extremely preachy
No adaptation to screen can live up to a text for me
And this one seemed smarmy
But friends and family liked to watch it
So I had to too occasionally
So I became familiar with its thefts from other sources
Its retelling of the books’ story
Mostly with fidelity
The series had a catchy tune as a theme song. But it had never been fleshed out with words. There must have been a few lines about a little house, because the meter works perfectly. But wordy songs just weren’t in style. If they had written one, it might be remembered and loved as much as the Gilligan’s Island song. With this post I am correcting the historical oversight. I know that you will each be eternally grateful.
Little House on the Prairie TV Show Theme Song (Now with words!)
Little House on the Prairie
It isn’t big, no siree
The tale of the house
And the lives of the Ingalls family
Is here on your TV
Laura’s a girl with two sisters
Mary and baby Carrie
As the series grows old
An account will unfold of how Mary
Lost ability to see
They have some friends called the Olsens
With a daughter named Nellie
Mayhap there will be
A cat fight or three because Nellie
‘S Laura’s archenemy
Laura’s dad Charles plays the fiddle
He’s just as wise as can be
When he takes a break
From the hay and the rake he drinks coffee
Not historically accurate tea
Mom Caroline wears a bonnet
She cooks and sews expertly
You can tell that she’s pretty
Despite never a glimpse of knee
Because of modesty
Walnut Grove has a schoolhouse
Church steeple and granary
The migration west had cowboys
And farmers and townsfolk
Who were just like you and me
Of course a show this popular and with a song this good should be followed up by reality style spin-offs. How about:
West Eye for the East Guy
International interior decorating
Little House on the Prairie
A design to convey
A sense of Feung Shui you may copy
Rustic simplicity |
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| Deli Meat Monkey on Your Back |
[Apr. 18th, 2006|07:18 pm] |
Hu Jintao
Who?
Yeah.
Who's in town?
Yeah, he landed in Everett.
Ok, there's this guy in town. And he's important in some way.
Right.
Well, what is he famous for?
He's the president of China.
Who is?
Yeah.
I didn't know that China had a president. But he's here in Washington right now huh.
Yeah.
What's his name?
Hu.
Who?
Yeah.
So he landed in Everett. Is he going anywhere else?
He's going to Redmond to visit Gates and tour Microsoft.
Who is?
Yeah.
Where is his next stop?
It says that The Seattle Trade Development Alliance is hosting him for lunch. They will be serving traditional American deli foods like corned beef and tongue and dill pickles. There's a rumor that the party elite in his country regard those foods as aphrodisiacs and even shoot them up intravenously.
Husan Tung?
No, not the turn of the century emperor, the current president!
Who?
Yeah. |
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| Passover Song |
[Apr. 13th, 2006|12:11 am] |
They were working in a brickyard mixing straw and clay
An uncompensated worker can't go on that way
Time to make a change
Time to rearrange
Make a plan to earn a peso
So across the path from Goshen to the palace court
Moses wanted an exit visa, or at least a passport
He had snakes
He had rods
He had God
That's how he confronted Pharaoh
Freedom wouldn't come to pass overnight
But it was a case of fight or flight
Now multitudes are leaving (Don't forget your nightshirt)
And the waters are receding (It's a dry desert)
It's the start of a trip that will lead to the promised land
It's the Exodus from Egypt
I'm sure you can understand
Copyright 2006 all rights reserved |
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| Announcing the pr1ss How to Make Your Own Blues Song Blues |
[Mar. 28th, 2006|02:23 pm] |
First you lay out the situation
Then you tell a little more
It was so devastating
I almost fell down on the floor
‘Cause I’ve got the blues
I’ve got the how to write your own blues song blues
Here are some examples starring people on my friends list:
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) baal_merodach lives across the pond
He likes ancient Greek Lore
His apartment is just down the street
From Heathcliff on the moor
emmabovary and the Bovrettes
Dress in chic couture
And as they count their calories
The peasants foment war
montecristo keeps a pet monkey
Its maintenance is a chore
But it’s a souvenir of love
Sent over by Queen Noor
They’ve all got the blues
They’ve got the
pr1ss livejournal friendslist make your own blues song blues.
Comment with your own lyric, or if you like, a request for a stanza with your name! |
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| Sticks to the roof of your mouth |
[Mar. 10th, 2006|05:56 am] |
Yesterday I had to use a hot glue gun. I pretended that it was a woodchuck.
Try to say this out loud.
How much glue
could a glue gun glue
if a glue gun could glue glue?
How much glue
could a glue gun gun
if a glue gun could gun glue?
It'd gun so much glue
I'd say, “Merci beaucoup!”
That glue gun do glue glue. |
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